Posted by Maybue on June 11th, 2009
Another step closer to “freedom”. It’s incredible what paperwork you need to just not love each other anymore. And every piece of paper adds another little papercut to my heart.
I loved Faighnee so much. I just don’t know what happened. Well, I do know what happened, but I don’t get how. There are many moments that I remember with fondness. And I often miss those moments. I don’t really miss Faighnee though, not as a lover anyway.
But there’s one thing that keeps bugging me: “It all was so perfect. How could it go wrong. If not her, then who? If this went wrong, then how can it ever be right?”
And it bugs me that I’m so afraid to end up alone.
Old spinster…
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Posted by Maybue on June 4th, 2009
April is poetry month, but April I wasn’t here. (check Nicky’s blog for more about poetry month)
But I like poetry and so I just take poetry month a few months later.
Something I found on the internet and I really liked:
Valentine
people with smiles
like ramparts
and eyes cast down
i know they’re alone today too
I don’t mind being “alone”. I have friends and family and that’s good. But sometimes I miss a special someone with whom I can share everything. Valentine is traditionally one of those days, so I could totally relate. :-)
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Posted by Maybue on June 3rd, 2009
Updating the blog…
Easier said than done. I’m just not much of a blogger. Continuing Lila’s blog seems to be a task that I’m not quite prepared for. I don’t have a clue what to write anyhow. I don’t want to tell you too much about my private life, as it is… private. Most of you read this blog for the “games” that we’ve all played, but I don’t play anymore. So I can’t write about that and that means that I can’t “give the audience what it wants”. Is it any use even to continue this blog if I can’t please its audience? Well sure, I promised and maybe that’s enough reason as it is. But the idea was that we’d write about our games. About Faighnee and me.
Maybe it’s just better to leave the blog for anyone who wants to read it, but not add new stuff that won’t interest anyone anyway.
Hell, maybe nobody cares about this here whiney blog post in the first place…
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Posted by Maybue on June 1st, 2009
I did promise to keep the blog running, so here I (finally) am to do it.
Maybe one day I’ll tell about the reasons why I’ve neglected it for so long, but not yet.
What is there to say? Not much really. Faighnee and I broke up. Our marriage didn’t work out after all. But you already knew that. I’m currently not seeing anyone. I’ve had a few short relationships after Faighnee, but nothing really serious.
I don’t see Faighnee very often anymore. Our old group of friends seems to have disintegrated a bit. Some of them I still see regularly. Others I see hardly ever anymore. I met new people and friends of course.
I don’t “play” anymore. Not only is there no one to play with, I don’t really feel like playing either.
Professionally I’m doing quite well. But you’ll understand if I don’t tell you anything about that. ;-)
I must say that I miss having someone steady in my life, but I’m not unhappy about it, nor do I feel especially lonely. Of course sometimes I do feel a bit lonely. One of the things I miss about a steady relationship is the constant affection. I’m really close with some of my friends, but it’s not really the same.
I think that’s about it for now really.
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